Adrianne Maris Marcus

Photo: Adrianne Marcus in Finland, Sept. 2008

My mother passed away early this morning. At 12:38am, to be exact. She died peacefully, her chest rising and falling, movement gradually becoming more of an afterthought, until she breathed no more. The cell phone by my bed woke me up as the doctor called to give me the news. She apologized and said words of condolence as I listened to what she had to say. I replied with words coming out of my numb mouth. There wasn't much left to reply.

I got up, Jim and I got dressed and went upstairs to tell the rest of the family. Aunt Judy was first. I pushed open the door to my old bedroom and she was up in an instant. I began to tell her but she already knew what I had to say as soon as I knocked on her door. Alix, Ian's daughter was the next one to wake up. She broke the news to Ian. I called my sisters, Shelby and Stacey. We piled into the family minvan and drove the 17 long mile to Kaiser Hospital in San Francisco to say goodbye.  We have been driving back and forth to the hospital every day for two and a half months.  I knew every inch of the route. I drove it every day. I sat in her room every day.  I held her hand every day.  This would be the last time I had to drive to the hospital.

 Mom obviously wanted to spare us the heartache of being there at the moment of her passing, but we saw her shortly afterwards. She was so still, so quiet. We wiped our tears on Kaiser's Kleenex, more like sandpaper. We left her an hour later. As we were walking out of the hospital, a young couple were being escorted inside. They were having a baby. The woman looked apprehensive, not knowing quite what to expect. Her husband was nervous and elated, carrying their bag as she was wheeled off to the third floor. I looked at my family and we laughed. There is balance in the world. The circle of life keeps on turning. Mom's left us, and a new life is on its way.

Her death wasn't unexpected, just extremely painful for me to witness and sad. I was there for her, giving her my strength so that she could fight this disease and come home. I was there for her, so that she didn't have to worry about Ian, my stepdad, who has his own medical issues. I was there for her so that she could relax and try to focus on healing. I promised her I'd take care of her dogs. She would do the same for me. She was fierce and someone you wanted to have on your side. She was the strongest woman I've ever known. This is why I cannot believe she could be gone. So quiet. So beautiful, looking like she was truly at peace, having finally won her last fight.

She had ovarian cancer which led her to get a hysterectomy. Complications gave her one setback after another. Her body was weakened by over two years of malnourishment. She had lost her appetite. This is a woman who lived to eat. She loved food and the enjoyment of cooking and sharing a meal with friends. We knew something was wrong. She knew something wasn't right for over a year. Her diabetes, congestive heart failure and irregular heartbeat all added dimensions to her complex case and she didn't have the strength to overcome her numerous problems.

My mom and I were very close. She drove me crazy at times, but I loved her just the same. She would pick up the phone and call me at least once a day. "I just wanted to see how you are," she'd say. She's never say who was calling, she'd just launch into her thought as soon as you answered the phone. She just wanted to hear my voice.

She had a tremendous passion for everything that interested her. She loved her writing, her poetry, a good meal, and her dogs. She surrounded herself with intelligent people, loving a good discussion about art, music, or books. Her insatiable curiosity lead her to travel across the country and around the world seeking the hidden pleasures of local diners, hand crafted chocolates, and hand-blown ornamental glass birds. If you had the honor of being her friend, she'd give you anything you could ever want or need. It made her happy, knowing that she could take care of you. She had a huge heart.

She satisfied her curiosity for the world around her by writing about it. She was published in newspapers and magazines such as The San Francisco Chronicle, Food & Wine, Town & Country, Parade Magazine, and Travel and Leisure. She also published several books including, "The Chocolate Bible," "The Photojournalist: Mark & Leibovitz," and "Carrion House World of Gifts." There are works of unpublished fiction sitting in boxes in her workroom. "Morrigan's Crow" was a contemporary fantasy novel set in Ireland. "Chefs," was a scathing look at the world of celebrity chefs and the food world.

She was a food and travel journalist by trade but her true love was poetry, having published over 400 poems. She was an amazing poet who knew how to stitch words together in such a way that each word tugged at the other words, line after line carried you into the raw emotions that she wanted to explore. She would often reduce an audience to tears. She published many books of poetry such as "Magritte's Stones, " "Child of Earthquake Country," "The Moon is a Marrying Eye," and "The Resurrection of Trotsky." To read some of her poetry, you can find it at her website: Double M Sighthounds.

For the last few years she turned her attention to her dogs, Silken Windhounds and Borzois. She had seven of them. She became involved in the dog world, building friendships with in the dog breeding and lure coursing community.

I love my mother. I cannot imagine life without her. I know I she was proud of all that I've done. She could not wait to try my own cheese. I will not disappoint her. She was 74.

Here is the poem that my mother wrote for our wedding.


Wedding Poem
For Sarah and Jim, May 2, 1999


Here, in this season of flowers, your faces bloom
With love. This, your beginning, is a journey of roses,
Without thorns. The mutual air is filled with the sweet
Scent of blossoms, the perfume spilling out into
Each room where you are, pledging love, a lifetime
Together. All those delicate promises, pledges of spring.

Soon it will be summer. In that time, your faces will
Alter under the warm sun. Eating the fruits of the ripe
Nectarine, peaches, you will offer each other a taste,
A sharing. Your mouths will be honey and cinnamon as
You learn to invent delights
In more ways than you ever thought possible.

When autumn comes, you will change again, and there
Will be days when thorns and small hurts
May seem more important than they really are.
As the leaves turn, remember the blaze of color
Yellow and red, the amber fire that needs to be
Fed in order to continue to burn.

Speak to each other, let no night fall on
Sadness; remember to say I love you before
The day closes. Each morning is both a
Closing of time and a beginning of another.
Take nothing for granted.

When winter arrives, with its grey, dormant season.
Remember the bare branches are only
Illusion. Deep inside the pruned limbs, buds are
Dreaming their forms, taking the sweet shape of roses.
Wait for spring; and you will taste these blooms again,
Like love, with lavish familiarity.

Adrianne Marcus

Cat's out of the bag

I've been mighty silent for a while. I've been talking to some folks about working together. Just didn't want to reveal too much while I was in sensitive negotiations. I think I can talk about things more freely now.

I has always been hard for me to keep a secret for too long and the cat's outta the bag, now. Briar Rose Creamery just got it's first mention in the online version of the Oregonian, Portland's morning paper. Woo hoo! Last Wednesday, I participated in an event called Oregon Cheese Stories sponsored by Oregon State University's Food Innovation Center. Cheesemakers got to tell their stories to cheeseshop owners, distributors, and food writers. I went with Silver Falls Creamery to reveal my new partnership with them and our plans for the future. We also got to talk to lots of folks about our cheese, let them try it, and hopefully get them to order it.

Photo: Cheese tasting at the Food Innovation Center.

What am I doing with Silver Falls Creamery? If things continue along this merry path, this summer I will begin to make cheese with Shawn, the herdsman, cheesemaker, teacher, and father of four youngsters. He's a very busy guy with hardly enough time to breathe, let alone make cheese. I'm going to drive to Stayton a few days a week to make cheese. If you are eager to try some pretty tasty fresh goat cheese, Jim and I are currently selling Silver Falls Creamery chevre at the McMinnville Farmer's Market every Thursday afternoon. Stop by and say hi!

Photo: Shawn milks a doe at Silver Falls Creamery.

While all this partnering is happening, we'll be building out our creamery on our property. Once the structure is complete, I will make cheese in Dundee. Briar Rose Creamery will produce aged cheeses, Silver Falls will have fresh chevre. Both will be made here. At least that's the plan right now.

We've found our milk supplier! Plus I've been approached by a gentleman in Clackamas County who is building a goat dairy and want to sell his milk to me. There have even been conversations with another person who has a flock of dairy sheep. Keep 'em coming!

I am amazed, thrilled, and grateful with the way things are really falling into place. I'm really living the dream! Please don't pinch me, I don't want to wake up.

Like a fine cuppa coffee

Photo: I get to ham it up with Ig Vella at Vella Cheese Company


Lots of stuff percolating around here. Not much time to blog about it.

My bad! The Sonoma Cheese Conference went really well. Got to see lots of friends and make some new ones. Both good things in my estimation. My panel went off really well. Three of us got to talk about blogging basics and how a blog can be a wonderful dynamic form of writing. I had my fill of excellent cheeses from across the country and some great wines and beers were served as well. It is a nice, intimate gathering of cheese professionals. A highlight for me was going to the Vella Cheese Company with fellow Oregonians Pat Morford and her daughter Astraea from River's Edge Chevre, and Tami Parr of the Pacific Northwest Cheese Project. I bought some extra aged Dry Jack from Ig Vella himself. It is a nice excuse to spend a few days in the beautiful town of Sonoma.

Photo: a princess cake.

I did manage to visit my sister in Santa Rosa. Brought her a piece of Princess Cake for her birthday. Scandia Bakery on Napa Street next to the Sonoma Market that makes an excellent Princess Cake. It is a family tradition. Must have this sweet cake with layers of cake, custard, cream, and raspberry jam smothered with green marzipan frosting. Heaven! I wish I could have taken more time to visit more friends. It will have to wait for another trip back to the Bay Area.

This weekend we're off to the Oregon Cheese Festival. It is held in the parking lot at Rogue Creamery in Central Point, Oregon. It should be about a four to five hour drive from here. It is pretty far south, practically in California. The sun is out and the rain might hold off until Saturday or Sunday so I hope the drive is easy.

When the sun shines, Oregon's natural beauty is breathtaking. The locals perk up, too. Yesterday I was driving back home, headed north on Wallace Road a.k.a. Highway 221 from Salem. The rural highway connects Dayton, just south of Dundee, to Salem and cuts through farmland and tiny hamlets like Lincoln and Unionvale. The Eola Hills and the red hills of Dundee rise gracefully up from the floor of the Willamette Valley to the west and off in the distance are the snow capped Cascades to the east. It was a cloudless sky and the sun was warming the fertile earth all around me as I sped along past countless farms and semi-dormant fields. The grass alongside the road is bright green with fresh spring growth. A few of the trees are starting to show the early signs of bud break, with a green glow tracing through their naked branches. Spring is breathing down upon this patch of earth. It was a great 50 minute drive home. Must try to remember to take some photographs of this stuff. My words cannot capture the beauty that surrounds me.

Photo: Jim holds a chick.


Speaking of signs of spring, we have chicks! Five of them. So cute. Araucanas, the kind that lay green and blue tinted eggs. Sweet little birds that will grow up to be nice egg layers. They're a little over a week old.

Jim has completed three raised beds for our veggie garden. Now we need to fill them with dirt and we'll be off to the races. Or we'll be ready to plant lettuce, carrots, leeks, cucumbers, onions, tomatoes, cilantro, basil, and other herbs.

In other news, I've posted an ad on Craigslist looking for cheesemaking equipment. Got some pretty interesting responses to it. We'll see what happens! It really feels like things are starting to gain momentum and move forward. We filed for building permits with the county planning department and I'm going over the plans with our contractor. Groundbreaking may happen sooner rather than later.

Whew! First thing's first. Gotta get ready to drive to Central Point.

Come and celebrate cheese!

Feeling like eating lots of cheese? Want to learn about how it is made? Fascinated by dairy goats? Want to have more inspiration in the kitchen with your cheese? I bet there's a festival or conference coming up that might be of interest.

I've already mentioned the Sonoma Valley Cheese Conference. I'm very excited to be on a panel. Anything you'd like me to talk about? The focus is on blogging and I'm open to ideas and suggestions. February 21-24th are the dates. It starts off with a gathering at the Cheese School of San Francisco from 5pm - 8pm on Saturday the 21st of this month. For $25 you get to eat some exquisite cheese from some of my favorite producers and wash it down with some great wines and beer. The party moves to Sonoma on Sunday where you can eat more cheese, drink more beer and wine and meet more cheesemakers. Monday and Tuesday is the working part of the conference. Panels, guided tastings, workshops, and great networking opportunities. See Sheana's website if you want ticket information.

If that's not enough to satisfy you, there's the Fourth Annual Oregon Cheese Festival happening in March. Head to Central Point, home of Rogue Creamery on Saturday, March 15th. It is sponsored by the Oregon Cheese Guild and features my friends and neighbors and some damn fine cheese. I hope to make it this year. The cost is quite affordable and open to the public. $5 for cheese tastings and demos, $5 for wine. Wow! There's also a dinner in Ashland for $70 on Friday night. I'm checking my calendar right now.

In Petaluma, there's another cheese festival in March. California's Artisan Cheese Festival is happening March 20th-23rd. This is a big cheese appreciation event. There will be a marketplace, chef's demos, and seminars. The California Artisan Cheese Guild is playing a major role in the festival this year.

Looking ahead: May will feature the Seattle Cheese Festival May 16 & 17th at Pike Place Market. The American Cheese Society Conference will be in Austin, TX this year August 5th - 8th. Woo hoo! Good beer, good barbecue, and good cheese. Works for me!

I can't go to them all, but I'll try to hit a few of them. I've got some building about to commence around here. My $$$ will be ear-marked for other cheese endevors, namely our business. I can't say when ground breaking will be, but I'll looking at weeks rather than months at this point. This is BIG news!!!

There's no place like home

Photo: View of the Sunset District, Golden Gate Park, and Mt. Tamalpais.

I really miss the cultural diversity of the Bay Area. Why? Because most of my life seems to center around eating. I love the variety of cuisines that are available in and around San Francisco. We used to live in a neighborhood that was culturally mixed. The fringe benefit of this melting pot is the fact that I had lots of options when I went grocery shopping. When I craved good olives, I went to the Parkside Farmer's Market on Taraval. Their olive selection and feta selection cannot be beat. They used to be self serve, but now they tub them for you. I guess too many folks were grazing. Parkside also had the best milk prices and a great selection of fruits and veggies. I loved browsing through their aisles looking at the different spices, canned eggplant, and olive oils. The family that owns it is from Jordan, so I could find lots of middle eastern items without going far from home.

I often shopped in the central part of the Sunset District. This area is an eclectic mix of Asian, Eastern European, Irish, and all other ethnic groups that call San Francisco home. Parking was a nightmare in the area, and the stretch of Irving between 19th Ave and 26th Ave was/is always congested. Too many cars trying to skirt around double parked cars and lots of pedestrians. This is where I did a lot of my grocery shopping. I'd often park along Lincoln, next to Golden Gate Park and walk over one block to do my shopping. I loved looking at the fish swimming in tanks waiting to become someone's supper. Sunset Super, an Asian market, often had a good price on live Maine lobster, so I grab a pair for dinner if they were less that $7/pound.

As a treat I'd often grab a bubble tea at one of several local bubble tea outlets. Bubble tea, tapicoa drink, boba drinks, all the same thing and all tasty if they're fresh. My favorite was the Double Rainbow Ice Cream Parlor, but they went out of business and were replaced by an Asian chain called Quickly. Inferior bubble tea IMO. I'll still get bubble tea from Wonderful Foods Company. Or if I was on Clement Street, there's a candy shop across from my fave book store, Green Apple Books that makes great bubble tea (forgot the name.) Oh bubble tea. I love those tapioca pearl balls swimming in a milky tea bath. The texture isn't for everyone. My eldest sister has lived in Hong Kong and all over southeast Asia. She can't stand the drink. I love it. My favorite flavors are Green Tea with Milk at Tapioca Pearls and Mango Tea with Tapioca Pearls. I don't go for the jelly cubes or other options.

What do I do now that I'm living in rural splendor? I've gotta get into my car and drive. I've been slowly exploring my options around here and in Portland. Harder to find, I must admit. I'm looking for good Indian markets, Asian markets, and Middle Eastern markets. I love the Barbur World Foods in southwest Portland. They make pita bread to order! Heavenly. I'm still looking for a good Indian market.

Then there's H Mart. Shortly after we moved here, a huge Asian grocery store opened up in Tigard. This made all of the local papers. There was a lot of TV coverage, too. This store makes me feel right at home. It is a Korean chain based out of New Jersey. They cater to many styles of Asian cuisine. There's a huge bakery, sushi counter, noodle bar, and kim chi bar that takes up the front third of the store. They've got a great fish counter (yay!) and there's an entire aisle devoted to soy sauce, fish sauce and assorted high sodium delights. One section featured Asian housewares. I can replace my miso soup bowls here. They had special refrigerators aimed at Koreans. I've never seen a fridge that looks like a chest freezer with a button on it that says "ferment." Ferment? Oh! It is a kim chi fridge, I guess. Fancy!

I felt like I was back in San Francisco except that everyone was very polite and the place wasn't crowded. They even had a bubble tea bar! Now, when I feel homesick, I can jump in the car and wander through the aisles at H Mart. I'm not homesick as much as I used to be. I guess I'm getting used to this place. The stuff I used to think was weird and strange seems more normal now.

Also want to find a good place for dim sum. I'm told to head for the border. The Canadian border. The closest dim sum of quality is in Vancouver. If you know of anything closer, like in Portland, please let me know!

Sonoma Valley Cheese Conference, a panelist, and a cheese

Ladies and Gentlemen and children of all ages! We have achieved a milestone. The cheese is ready to be eaten!!

This cheese was born on Halloween 2008. I just cut into it on January 4th.

I just cut the second one on Feb. 1st.

I'm a very proud cheesemaker. These wheels turned out great! Good texture. Good moisture. Good flavor. The current wheel is better than the first. Yay!

If you want to try some of this fine cheese, you might have to stop by and say please.

If you happen to be around the town of Sonoma from Feb. 22 - Feb. 24, you'll find me at the Sonoma Valley Cheese Conference. Stop by and say hello! If you're lucky, I might let you try some of my cheese.

Even better than just eating my cheese, I'm on a panel. I get to discuss the finer points of blogging about cheese. Come and ask questions. Feel free to heckle, I'll only blog about you.

I attended the Sonoma Valley Cheese Conference last year and loved it. It is like a mini American Cheese Society conference with informative workshops, discussion, great networking opportunities, and a great gathering of cheese professionals. I love the town of Sonoma, so this is an added bonus. My friend Sheana Davis is the organizer. She pours her heart into making this happen and she does a great job. There is always lots of cheese, plenty of local beers, and a nice selection of wine to be consumed. Not a bad way to spend a few days. I hope the weather is nice and warm. I could use some more sunshine. Please find me and say hello.


Here's a brief description from the website:

The 7th annual Sonoma Valley Cheese Conference. Hosted by Sheana Davis & Ig Vella. Guest Keynote Speakers include Rob Kaufelt, Murray’s Cheese Shop, New York, Sid Cook, Carr Valley Cheese, Wisconsin, Petra Cooper, 5th Town Artisan Cheese Company, Ontario. Speaker Coordinator Gordon Edgar, Rainbow Grocery Cooperative. Conference Receptions Host, Rainbow Grocery, Cheese Plus and Bi Rite Market. Advisory Committee includes Ig Vella, Gordon Edgar, Sid Cook, Judy Creighton, Dee Harley, Harley Farm; Ray Bair, Cheese Plus; Sam Mogannam, Bi Rite, Mark Todd, The Cheese Dude. A very special Sonoma Dairy and Vineyard Tour, hosted by Levoroni Dairy & Vineyards. The Conference will be held at Sonoma Valley Inn & Conference Center.























A fine, three month old aged goat cheese. Semi-firm. Made in Dundee, Oregon.

Goo Goo Muck

Photo: Steve Mace from The Untamed Youth on bass, Dexter Romweber from the Flat Duo Jets, guitar, and Joel Trueblood from The Untamed Youth on drums. April 1990.

Lux Interior died today. Sad. I always liked The Cramps. They put on a great live show. Spent a few Halloweens in their company. I even took my mom to see them while I was in college. She was visiting me and the Cramps were playing Springfest, an annual event sponsored by my old college radio station, KCOU. As general manager of the station, I had some duties to perform so I set my mom at a reserved table in the front of the balcony of the Blue Note and I went off to make sure things were running smoothly. It was a phenomenal show. Local surf band, The Untamed Youth opened the show. Then the Flat Duo Jets tore things up and the Cramps wrapped up the evening in fine style. I think Mom enjoyed the show. Lux Interior sweated profusely and did his usual striptease act, and performed most of the show in his shiny, black leather underwear. Poison Ivy was her usual cool-as-a-cucumber self. Nothing like an evening of raunchy rockabilly, and trashy rock and roll to make a girl feel good. Mom still talks about that show.